Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Not me

I most certainly did not attempt to take my darling princesses to a Breakfast With the Princesses in Reidsville at 8am on the morning following a day/night of a personal bout with Vicious GI Virus. With Jay out of town. And me on call. That seems like an awfully ambitious task that is essentially guaranteed to not go well, and I am always superb at recognizing my limitations. I did not give in to the polite request adamant refusal of my eldest regarding wearing a base layer beneath her scantily clad, cleavage revealing Sleeping Beauty costume. I also did not spend 15 minutes unsuccessfully searching the van for the second sock that was yanked off and tossed into the Bermuda Triangle of the Sock World that is our minivan by my youngest en route to said breakfast. I did not erroneously think that we could rush from our relatively close parking space to the warmth of the restaurant interior on this 20 degree morning, and thus conclude that Elle's insistence on leaving her coat in the car was a reasonable plan of action. Similarly, I did not also find the half-barefooted infant to be acceptably attired. Upon discovering that there was in fact a rather long and ever-growing line at the door, I did not weigh the benefits of getting out of the line to go back for coats and invisible socks against the cost of abandoning key position in the queue. I did not (erroneously) think the line would move quickly. Elle did not shiver. She did not refuse my offer to wrap her up in my coat, insisting that despite teeth-chattering frozenness, she was in fact just fine. She did not continue to shiver for the entirety of our time in line.  Elise had a coat, but I was on the fence as to whether it would be better to wear it properly or wrap the little bare foot up in it. She did not continuously kick the bare foot out of the jacket-sock I had fashioned. I did not look like the world's most horrific mother with her unsocked infant halfheartedly wrapped in a jacket and her nearly bare-chested, uncoated 4 year old version of Sleeping Beauty amongst all the other parents with children in full coat/scarf/mittens/toboggan winter weather regalia. I am not convinced that I am now the subject of small town gossip. We did not manage to make it inside without frostbite and ended up having an lovely time. But if you overhear a similar story in the Reidsville Walmart, tell them that mom's name was Stephanie*





*Being an identical twin has its perks. 

3 comments:

suzunc said...

Definitely just laughed out loud!

steph said...

Definitely wouldn't be the first time I've taken the fall for you :)

Rosemary Clark said...

Let's see...who got the speeding ticket was it Lauren or Steph b/c the other one still owes big for that one?