Career Development

The latest solution to our nation's sluggish workforce was launched at the end of the summer, under the guise of a birthday party at the Children's Museum. The innovative program introduces barely-three and not-yet-three-year-olds to various career opportunities, then blurs their decision making capacity by intoxicating them with large portions of cake and juice. Not one to shirk her patriotic obligation (i.e. to turn down cake), E dutifully attended the job fair, sampling future career options and pondering how she could best serve her fellow dark blue icing stained American.

She first considered the field of emergency medicine, but was far too protective of "her" rescue vehicle that she never actually made it out into the field. I overheard government officials whispering something about "getaway driver potential".

Next, a foray into the world of contruction.

Not thwarted by the obviously male-dominated career, Elle held her own bulldozing, steamrolling, bobcatting, and whistling at cute 2-year-olds as they passed her job site. But ultimately she succumbed to the gender stereotype, and was seen using the dump truck as a stroller for nearby baby dolls.

Childcare seemed to be the front runner by all accounts as she skillfully dressed and bathed the infants...

And stamped out childhood obesity.

But alas, I saw the authorities whipping out a black sharpie and making broad sweeping "X"-like strokes when she threw the baby under the rocking chair, rocked over it, and proceeded to berate it for being in her way.

Morale improved when she brandished her skills as a pizzeria employee, which was shameful evidence of the ridiculous amount of pizza that traverses our household. A+ for recognizing the entire Domino's delivery fleet by name!

Meal Planner was a bit equivocal. While the officials were intrigued by the creativity of any dish containing cauliflower, a rotisserie chicken, bacon, and challah, she lost points for the ideological incongruence of the latter two ingredients.

Maybe it's turkey bacon?

In the end, E was assured that she could do and be anything she wanted to be, with the Mommy caveat that careers involving tattoos, ATVs, halter tops, and any business whose number starts with 1-900... would be strictly prohibited.

She always has her TV gameshow career... clearly she's still a natural.