Random and Sundry Elle-isms. Honestly, I can't keep up these days-- she is absolutely hilarious, brilliant, opinionated, verbose, and indelibly extroverted. 


Me: Please pick out something to wear so we can run errands.
E: This!
Me: Your Halloween costume from days of yore? The one clearly labeled 12-18 months? I'm certain it won't fit. 
E: Let's try.

Who doesn't wear wings, antennae, and unintentional capri pants to Costco?

Elle: My tummy hurts. I need special food.
Me: What kind of special food?
Elle, matter of factly: Crabcakes and gelato.

Me: Who's going to say prayers tonight?
E, brandishing a stuffed horse from under her covers: The horsie!
Me: Ummm, ok. Go ahead Horsie.
E, holding up the horse and proceeding in an eerily accurate horse voice which made me suspicious she must be sneaking out of bed to watch "Mr. Ed" on Nick at Night: Bowwww your heads. Neiiiighhhh Jesus, Thank you for this wonnnnderful day. Thank you for Horsie Mommy, Horsie Daddy, Real Mommy, Real Daddy, and Elle. Aaaaaamen.
As long as  I live, I sure hope I remember how hard I laughed when I heard, "Neeeiiighhh Jesus"...

For "O" week, Elle asked to learn a fancy word to add to the Word Wall at school, so we taught her omniscient. She excitedly told everyone she met that omniscient means "you know everything". At first it took a little convincing to get her to agree that only God was omniscient, not Elle. A few weeks later I randomly asked her what 3 plus 2 was and she held up 3 fingers on one hand and 2 on the other, counted them all and announced "5!". We hadn't taught her how to do that and were amazed. Jay said, "Elle, how do you know that?", to which she answered resolutely, "Da-ad, I'm starting to become omniscient". Touche.

Other daycare mom: Elle, what is your baby sister's name?
E: Elise Cabbage Golding.
Me: You mean Elise Cabot Golding.
E: No, it's Cabbage.

Upon Grampa leaving our house:
Me: Bye, Grampa!
Elle, obviously upset: No, that's not your Grampa! He's your Daddy!
Me: Oh, sorry, you're right... Bye Daddy!"
Elle, satisfied: That's better. Bye Mommy's Daddy!

Me: Elle, can you please clean up your playroom? It is a mess!
Elle, melodramatically drooping shoulders and head: "This is the worst thing ever because I don't like doing this!"

Working on her show-and-tell for "Q" week at school:
"I'm working extreeemely hard on this quadrilateral."

Anytime you suggest something that isn't too her liking:
E: That's not my plan. (Followed, of course, by elaboration of her plan which typically includes anything other than going to bed or taking a nap)

After witnessing my near-breakdown when Elise wouldn't take a bottle the day before she started daycare:
Elle: I have a plan! (See above) You can just cut off your boobs and send them to school with her!
Me: Speechless, but must have had a disconcerted look
Elle: Don't worry, you can tape them back on!

Seeing the Michelin man near Sears:
E: This is SOO exciting! Mommy, I love him! This is just like DisneyWorld!

E: Mommy, do you know what grabbledegore means?
Me: I don't, Elle. What does it mean?
E: It means a type of acorn that nocturnal squirrels hide in trees. No, no... burrows.
Me: Ummm.... ok.