Not me! Wednesday?

I would never finally get around to posting a Not Me Monday post later in the week than... say... Monday. I am always perfectly on top of such things and couldn't imaging being delinquent and untimely in my posts. Or my morning conference attendance at work. But that's another story.

I would not allow my husband to turn my sweet innocent child into a Biker Chick.

Nor would I allow him to purchase 7 (count them, SEVEN!) scooters at a car dealership auction becaue they were "a good deal". I do not shudder with embarrassment when anyone comes near Garage Bay 1 and its neatly aligned flock of scooters. I would never threaten my Partner In Life with bodily harm if he does not find homes for the rainbow of transportation immediately.

I never work nights and leave Jay in charge of E's morning routine. She would never go to school with bedhead that would make Don King seem properly groomed.

And Diet Mountain Dew is certianly not a breakfast staple in the Golding Household. Even if it were, the one who consumes it would never let his daughter hold the can for a photo op to send to Mommy, just to show her that things were perfectly under control in her absence.

I would never take Elle to the Chik-Fil-A playplace on a rainy day without purchasing a single thing. I wouldn't justify this unethical behavior by reminding myself of all the times we've patroned the restaurant without using the Playplace. I certainly wouldn't panic when I saw the manager eyeing us, and tell E to put her shoes on...

grab the keys...

and Run For It!!

And finally,

We do not promote cannibalism in our household. That's just wrong.